Sometimes, surfing in the I-net, we answer OK to some question, and unconsiosly become somebody's  subscribers.
In most occasions we call "spam" what is comming afterward.
But I also have a positive alternative experience.

Several times a week Peter Murphy sends me a short essay concerning communication skills improvement.

I desided to share with you what he wrote yesterday about our desire to be respected by others and some hints how to gain it:

Want to be respected and appreciated?
If you have ever tried to win the respect and approval of others you know how difficult it can be.
What typically happens if you feel tense. You fail to express yourself as well as you can so others do not see you in the best light.

This of course is not a good recipe for winning respect and appreciation.
What can you do to create a favorable impression in the eyes of those you want to impress?

1. Relax when meeting people
This is easier said than done unless you know how to quickly relax even in difficult situations. The ability to relax when under pressure is an essential skill that allows you to be at your best whenever you need to be.

When you feel relaxed you will quickly and easily keep the conversation flowing, you won´t worry about making mistakes and you´ll find it easier to think of interesting things to say. Imagine how good that will feel!
Feeling relaxed enables you to enjoy the moment, to pay closer attention to whoever you are talking to and to drop those nagging feelings of self-consciousness.
Instant relaxation is the secret to effortlessly making conversation on a broad range of topics without worrying about saying the wrong thing.

2. Don´t beg for respect
A common mistake is to be overly nice in the hope of earning respect.
This approach never works.
The harder you try to impress the more desperate you will seem.
The best way to earn respect is to start by respecting yourself.
Positive self-talk, affirmations and visualization all go a long way towards building a sense of
pervasive self-esteem that others pick up on.
The more you respect yourself, the better other people will treat you. Why? Because your posture, the way you talk and you entire presence will change for the better when you
feel better about yourself.
Others merely reflect back how you treat yourself. When you change your behavior other people respond by changing how they interact with you.
When you have more self-respect for some strange reason whoever you talk to will pick up on it and start showing you more respect.

3. Respect and appreciate the other person
The more you choose to like and appreciate the person you are talking to the more that person will warm to you. When you really listen to the other person and especially when you  ompliment that person you encourage a favorable response from them.

People feel obligated to return good treatment with more of the same. You will notice more compliments, genuine interest in you and even delight when you give of these qualities first.
So remember to give what you want to get!

Doing so can feel awkward and uncomfortable at first if you are used to letting others do most of the talking.
You need to get used to speaking up and even leading the conversation if you are to create an environment of mutual respect and appreciation.
This is a very important distinction - if you do not make this change in how you deal with people you will never be more than a relatively passive observer of the conversations unfolding before you.

Make Change Quick And Easy

Whatever you do. Don´t let another day pass without finding the solution to improving your people skills.
Today really is the best time to make the changes you want in all of your dealings with others - at home, at play and at work.
Test my system for 365 days - you´ll be pleasantly surprised at the speed at which you can
transform the quality of your life.
Thankfully there is a solution. Go here now to get started
right away:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

Your Friend,
Peter

Find out more:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

THANK YOU, PETER!

Is Toastmasters for you?
Depends on the answer on following question:
Are you willing to commit regularly to controlling your fear of public speaking, and strive to be a better communicator?
If  so, then Toastmasters is for you.
Every time you take an endeavor to speak in front of the audience – you are a bit closer to become a powerful public speaker and competent communicator.

You only need to start moving on this way.
And what are the obstacles?
Simple – your thoughts!
You don’t need to be a master class speaker when you join Toastmasters. You need only commitment, diligence and the desire to improve yourself. With practice you can eventually control your fear of public speaking, and propel to new heights in your career and in your life.
Notice however, that it’s saying “control your fear”. Not eliminate it.
Fear can be a good thing. It helps you stay sharp, and stay alive. And eliminating it is as impractical as eliminating happiness, or gravity from your life. 

Fear is a self-sufficient force, and as a force – it can be harnessed.
The ability to cope with it makes you a powerful speaker and communicator.
So if you accept these things and are committed to take consistent action – then Toastmasters is for you.
See you at EBA TM Club in Kiev!

Details are on the appropriate pages of the Blog.

The canvas of regular Toastmasters meeting supposes that couple of us deliver prepared speeches.
While others perform different roles: President, Toastmaster, Table Topic Session Master, Evaluators, Timer, Ah-Counter ...... . 
In total, beside two or three scheduled speakers, there are 10 other parts of the meeting.

Why not just come and listen to our peers, and than go home to groom own speeches?

The reason is that majority of us are striving to become more influencing leaders!

"Take a quick look at your local bookstore’s shelves and you will likely find hundreds of volumes about leadership.
Scan the table of contents of a handful of them and you’ll find that there are many different – even contradictory – theories about what leadership is, and how to be a good leader.

No matter how good some of these books might be, there’s no arguing that it’s difficult to advance your leadership skills without actually taking on leadership roles yourself.

In Toastmasters, members advance in the Leadership track of the educational program by participating in club leadership activities.
The Toastmasters approach is hands-on and participatory, not dry and academic; it’s a place to try your hand at leadership instead of just reading about it.

So if you’re looking for a place to put some of those leadership ideas you’ve been reading about into practice in a safe, supportive environment, give Toastmasters a try." , - is written in the article, put on TM International web-site.

EBA TM Club teem fully agrees with this statement.

Performing various Toastmasters' meeting roles is vitually for self-growth and leadership skills foster.

Just come and try, you will see with your own eyes!

Dear Friend, please look at a brief questionary below:


Do communication and leadership skills matter to you?
                                                                                                 Yes, No

Ever thought about learning to speak in public without losing your senses?                                                                                                  Yes, No

Do you really admire those who are able to electrify the audience with powerfully and skillfully pronounced words?                                                                                                  Yes, No

Positive answers on these questions mean that You are striving self growth, public speaking skills improvment and leadership abilities honing!
So are we.

And, what is really important, You are ready to step off the habitual comfort zone and start practice oratorial skills in the positive, friendly and supportive environment! Where the peers are eager to give you amicable, but unbiassed feed back!
So are we.

We invite You to the EBA Toastmasters Club!

Our next meeting will take place on Monday, 19-th of March at 7.00 p.m.
For more information see the proper pages of this Blog.

Wish to see You at our meeting,
Anna Naleskina
EBA TM Club Vice President Education
050 331 79 07                                                

Hello, dear Friend!

Could you imagine:
... a self-reliant person is staying in front of audience, uttering persuasive arguments, confidently answering unexpected questions...
Is'n it an image of successful person, everyone wants to be?!

A positive piece of news is that such traits could be fostered. And the approved and reliable place for doing it is Toastmasters' Club!

Toastmasters' meeting roles performing is wonderful opportunity to step out of comfort zone and keep on pesonal growth.
At the same time, Toastmasters meeting atmosphere is really warm, friendly and supportive.

Tomorrow EBA TM Club will held the regular meeting.
With this letter I invite everybody to come and join us.
I'm also calling for Toastmaster, Speech & TTS Evaluators and Ah-Counter.
Use the chance to become better public speaker! Indeed, participating in the meeting is like a gym for sociability.

Look at the Agenda on the proper page, and to the previous message in the blog - 09.03.12, please.
"7 steps to better listener" are loaded there. To be a good listener is a significant merit, no doubt.

Kind regards,
Anna Naleskina
EBA TM Club VP Educationwww.ebatmclub.blogspot.com,
050 331 79 07

Dear Friends!

During the last meeting we touched upon the topic of the importance of being good listener.
I mentioned that I'd found the wise advise called "7 steps to better listener".

You can find them below:

You could be the kindest, most thoughtful person in the world, but if you're not truly listening to your employees, your boss and your customers, you may never achieve the success you desire.

Listening is as far from a passive activity as anything imaginable. Listening requires thoughts and effort. It means you must listen with your head and heart and not just your ears. And it means learning how to respond to what is being said . Here are seven steps to better listening wisdom:

1.    Practice silence.

Remaining quiet can be a challenge. You're going to feel compelled to interrupt, to finish sentences and to add your two cents. It takes discipline to remain silent. Make a conscious effort to say nothing until you're sure the other person has finished his or her thought. This is easier written than done. With a spouse or a friend, force yourself to stay silent during a conversation. In many ways, it's more difficult to do this with someone you know well, since conversations are often filled with frequent interruptions by both parties. By practicing silence in a personal relationship, you learn the discipline of knowing when to be silent in a professional one.

2.    Eliminate distractions.

Shut the door, turn off your cell phone, don't glance at the computer for email. If the other person has communicated that he or she feels the meeting is important, clear your schedule and explain that he or she has all time necessary. You want the other person to feel you've done everything possible to make 100 percent listening feasible.

3.    Focus your attention.

This means you can't daydream, dwell on how you're going to respond or tune out the other person. Giving someone your undivided attention is just that — a gift. Reflect on what the person is trying to tell you. Consider the literal meaning and also read between the lines. Don't allow a ringing phone, a conversation going on outside the office or anything else to distract you. People are remarkably sensitive to another individual's attention — or lack of it. Give them 100 percent if you value the relationship and the results it can produce.

4.    Show non-verbal attentiveness.

We communicate most of our messages without opening our mouths. It's not enough just to listen attentively; you need to demonstrate this attentiveness. Three easy ways to do so are to nod, make eye contact and smile. Shifting uneasily in your seat or glancing around as if you're waiting for the police to arrest you are not ways to communicate your attentiveness. Use your eyes and body language to convey that you're anything but bored with the conversation.

5.    Use the repeat principle.

Paraphrase what you thought the other person said. For instance: “If I'm hearing correctly, you're telling me that …” By asking the other person to repeat what you believe is an important point, you're demonstrating that you want to listen better. Requesting clarification communicates your desire to know exactly what is meant. However, you can't over-use this technique. If you do, you'll come off as inattentive or hard-of-hearing. Wait until you really aren't clear on what the person is saying. Or wait until he or she says something with a lot of emphasis — either through tone of voice or because he or she tells you, “This is important.” This gives you the opening you need to apply the repeat principle.

6.    Empathize.

Empathy is essential for results-producing relationships, and it's especially crucial in listening. Empathy really is nothing more than showing you have listened with your heart as well as your head. You have 101 ways to communicate your empathy, not all of them verbal. A knowing look, a nod of your head, a sigh — these gestures can communicate you get it. Don't try to over-empathize. You don't have to make a melodramatic show of how you're relating to what the other person is telling you. Sometimes, empathy can be expressed by relating your own experience to what the person has described. Sometimes, a simple, “Believe me, I know what you're going through” will get the job done.

7.    Ask good questions.

Have you ever been in an audience when the speaker asks, “Does anyone have any questions?” and no one responds? It's as if he never spoke at all — or no one paid any attention to what he said. If you don't ask any questions during a conversation — or if you just ask perfunctory questions — you're going to create the same effect. So don't be shy about asking a few good questions. Even one good question may be enough to show that you've listened intently. That's the mark of a perceptive listener

To be a superior listener, you must temporarily forsake ego. Being a good listener, you're going to have to forget about you. Obviously, you do have an ego and you can't disappear entirely — nor should you.
But being able to do so at key times in a conversation will increase your value to this other person.

Dear Friends!
EBA TM Club invites you to a place where REAL LEADERS ARE MADE.
Just come and immerse into wonderful atmosphere of Toastmasters' Club  meeting!
The high end ground to hone public speaking skills and leadership abilities.

With this letter I'd like to remind you that EBA TM Club starts the campaign for the next six-months membership extension. 
Participation in Toastmasters' Club is the best money / value ratio for the people, striving for self-development.
The membership fee is 7$ per month, 42$ for half-year retention.
Plus, 20$ admission fee for new fellows.

The Agenda is enclosed, we are going to have three speakers on Tuesday!
Parts of  Speech Evaluators, Grammarian, Ah-Counter and Timer are vacant.
Please sign UP for the roles, don't hesitate to reveal your best leadership skills!

Kind regards,
Anna Naleskina
EBA TM Club VP Education
050 331 79 07